


All alone or so it seemed.

by transgendergerard



Category: Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: M/M, hosterfield
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 21:31:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11495148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transgendergerard/pseuds/transgendergerard
Summary: Spider-man homecoming has been out for a week now and Haz has been trying his best to be proud of his boyfriend, but how could he be proud of his boyfriend when he doesn't even feel like Tom's boyfriend anymore?





	All alone or so it seemed.

**Author's Note:**

> hey, guys! I'm back again with another Tom and Haz fic since Homecoming is finally out! I saw it two days after it came out and LOVED IT! I and my good friend Megan wrote this one (she wrote most of it tbh so really need to give her the credit) and I decided to finally post another Tom and Haz fic in honor of the movie finally being out. I hope you guys like it! 
> 
> The title is lyrics from Taylor Swift's song Wonderland which can be found on the deluxe version of her album 1989. 
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr: www.grayjedigerard.tumblr.com  
> Follow Megan on Tumblr: http://magnnusbabe.tumblr.com

Spider-Man: Homecoming has only been out a week but Haz has already felt distant from his boyfriend Tom Holland.

  It all started around the month before the actual movie came out when it was all press days. The cast getting together and doing interviews all day. Haz was always there but left off to the side. Left with someone else like Toms younger brother. Seeing Tom so happy with his other friends should’ve made him feel good but it just... didn’t. Haz was trying to not show how he felt. How he felt Tom was forgetting about him all the time and spending more time with the cast. He put on fake smiles and followed him around like a lost puppy not knowing if Tom was still interested in him. Having to keep their relationship a secret made everything feel so fake recently. If the world didn't know that they were a couple it made him doubt if they knew if they even were a couple anymore. It made him feel like they went through the wrong turn down the rabbit hole and he isn't sure if they can come out of it.  

  But when the movie came out, and suddenly everyone was really noticing Tom, that’s when Haz reached his breaking point. Tom always seemed to be on his phone finding out what’s happening or out meeting new people he never seemed to hang out with Haz anymore. And Haz felt like shit. Haz started to stop following Tom around so much. He kept his distance more, he was waiting for the right time to break it off so he wouldn’t hurt so much. He just couldn’t seem to get the courage to do it, he didn’t want to knock Tom off the high he was riding from the new movie. One day Tom was in LA, Haz still in London and Tom facetimed Haz. Haz was tired and it was visible.

“Hey, are you okay? You look tired babe.” Tom asked the sad boy. 

“Oh um. Yeah, I’m fine. Are you getting enough sleep with all the stuff you are doing?” Haz asked even tho it was obvious he wasn’t okay.

“Yeah, I’m sleeping enough. Seriously Haz are you though because you look like you aren’t” Tom actually sounded worried which surprised Haz.

"Yes, I’m fine I swear. You know it’s pretty late over there you should get to bed. Bye.” Haz ended the call before Tom could respond.

That night he didn't sleep. Instead, he spent the night crying because he just knew. He knew things were about to be over with the two boys. They're actually going to be breaking up. 

 

For the next few days, Haz didn’t respond to any of toms calls and only gave some contact when Jacob asked Haz if he was okay. His response was “don’t panic I’m alive..mostly” At this point, he didn’t care if he was annoying them he just wanted to be happy somehow. And if that meant cutting off all these people then that’s what he’ll do. It hurt him dearly that he and Tom just didn't try anymore and just forgot about their relationship, but if Tom wasn't going to try to save it then why should be the one saving anyone but himself? Haz went out to the grocery store to pick up some candy and a movie. Something he is giving himself as a treat for once. He wants to try and be happy. He really is trying now. He gets to his apartment and notices it isn’t empty. He can smell something burnt in the kitchen. How could that be if no one has been his house other than himself? 

“Hello?” He shouted. 

Timidly Tom stepped out.  
“Hey, Haz.. I was worried.”

Both boys stared at each other. What should they do? Haz wasn't expecting Tom to come over. Was he actually here to fix their relationship? What is there to fix? Everything that they had just went through the window. Maybe Tom came over for a final goodbye. That was it. 

“Oh.” Is all he can get out.

Then the fire alarm broke the silence between them. 

Oh shit.” Tom rushes over to whatever he was cooking.

“Jeez, are you trying to burn down my place??” Haz says rushing over to his boyfriend now ex who's currently at the stove right now. 

“Sorry I wanted to do something nice. You seemed upset.” Tom said putting the burning food into the sink. Haz was waving a towel over the smoke alarm before it finally stopped.

“You didn’t need to come back here.” Haz said leaning against the counter.  _You don’t have to tell me what I already know._ Haz thought to himself.  _I know that we're over. You didn't need to come here to make the wound bigger than it is already._

“Yes, I did. My boyfriend seemed upset so I wanted to check on him.” Tom said nicely.

_Boyfriend._ Haz cringed at that word. He did not feel like that at all. Not right now and not for the past few months. He feels like a stranger now more than anything. Like he doesn't even know what this thing they have between them is. 

“I don’t know,” Haz says after an uncomfortable amount of silences.  Tom waits for him to say more. He wants to hear more than just I don’t know. He wants his boyfriend. He wants them. 

“I just.. I don’t know” Haz says feeling deflated. Tom steps forward slowly, checking to make sure Haz is okay with him coming closer. He steps into Haz’s space and takes his hand. 

“Why don’t we order pizza and then maybe you can find the words?” Tom suggests.

Haz just shakes his head in agreement. Maybe he shouldn’t give up on them just yet. They sit awkwardly waiting for pizza. Tom tries to strike up a conversation but Haz doesn’t really feel like talking, especially not about the movie. He misses the old them. The one that didn’t have to worry about stupid Marvel. The one where they could just be themselves and not have to worry about what anyone had to say about them. The one where they were sure that they were in love with each other even they didn't really know what those words meant at the time. Even though Haz doesn't feel like he knows what those words mean now anyways. 

They eat in silence. This time it’s not awkward cuz Haz is too worried about what he’s going to say. He wants to tell Tom how he’s feeling but how? How does he tell his boyfriend he doesn’t feel like his boyfriend. How does he tell him he loves every inch of him but recently he can’t look at Tom because of how much it hurts. 

Everything hurts. “It

“It hurts”, Haz said out loud, which was an accident.  The words kept turning over in his head. Surely he could come up with something better than that but this was the truth. Has looks at Tom. 

“What?” Tom said with a mouthful of food. Haz looks at Tom now. “It

“It hurts,” he says again.

“Seeing you with everyone. Seeing you so happy. Seeing you live a new life.. all without me” he gets out. Tom pauses. He didn’t know. He didn’t think Haz felt like that. He seemed okay when he was on tour with them but suddenly he didn’t want to come to LA. He refused to come really and that’s when he noticed just a week ago that something was up. But maybe Haz felt like this all along. 

"I'm sorry... I... I didn't know you felt like that." Tom said. His voice shaking. 

“I feel like I’ve been sitting here watching you grow while I just stay in the same place. On the sideline. I miss the old us that grew up together. That didn’t hide from everyone. Does the cast even know we’re more than friends? I got tired of living this lie, I don’t even feel like your boyfriend anymore” Haz said while tears were flowing down his face. Voice cracked. 

Tom moved over closer to his boyfriend on the couch and looked him straight into the eyes that he fell in love with. 

“Harrison, I love you. You know that I love you okay. You’re my boyfriend I can reassure you in that. And yes everyone knows you’re my boyfriend. Hell, they even say all I do is talk about you when you’re not around. What we have is real okay? And you can always talk to me about this you don’t need to hide from me.” 

Haz just continued to cry. He didn't really want to say anything more. He didn't want to say anything more. Nor did he want to feel anything anymore. Tom moves their bodies where Tom is holding Haz in his lap and Haz is hiding his face in Tom's shoulder. Tom has his arms around Haz's waist. This is the most contact they've had in a while. Tom is resting his face on top of Haz's head when he repeats "I love you" and "I'm so sorry. I'm going to try to be around more" into Haz's hair. 

"Hey, you know what? I'm going to text Robert right now and tell him I'm going to have an emergency break, Okay? So that way we can spend this next week being us with no marvel telling us what to do." Tom tells Haz, but Haz doesn't really respond, but his breathing is back to normal now and no more tears have come out of his eyes. 

Tom decides to text rdj. Cause it would be so off for him and so unprofessional of him if he just bails for a week just after your movie came out, even if it’s not spider-man.

to Tom  
Is everything okay? Do you guys need us?

To rdj  
Well… it depends on everything. My boyfriend just doesn’t feel like he’s my boyfriend anymore and he doesn’t deserve to feel like that you know? So I’m just going to actually like try to be there to him and work this out. He doesn’t feel like he doesn’t fit in with the cast and he doesn’t think I care about him anymore since I’ve gotten so big with Marvel.

To Tom  
Ahhh. This thing happens to everyone. You guys will get through it. The start is always the hardest for everyone.

To rdj  
Thanks. I just feel like shit for even allowing him to get this way. I just hope it ends soon.

They spend the next week together. Never really leaving the house unless it's for a romantic dinner date. They never leave each other side. They spend a lot of time talking to each other. About how they feel about Tom being so huge now and what it means to their relationship. They've both decided that it's best for them to finally come out. Especially after how Haz has been feeling the past few months. 

  They didn't plan a whole big coming out thing. Tom just posts a really cute picture of them that he has always loved and introduces the world to Harrison, but now as his boyfriend and not just his best friend. Now they're in each other's posts literally all the time, and Haz is smiling in all of them. There's this one picture that Tom posted of them at the airport in the morning and you can clearly see a hickey on Haz's neck. 

"TomHolland2013/: Made it to the airport with just a few minutes to spare. I think this is the first time we have ever almost missed a flight." 

Zendaya/: uhmmm bro do you know that Haz got a hickey in that photo did u notice?? I think I know why you guys almost missed your flight lol 

HazOsterfield/: really? we had no idea hmmm thanks for telling us lol 

Having your boyfriend be Spider-man is hard, but Haz wouldn't trade it for the world. Somehow they always manage to make it out of the rabbit hole. 

 


End file.
